Always My Guide Chapter Four

[eachdraidhean]

Back to Chapter Three

The next morning, Bobby didn’t take the news about Castiel's appearance too well either.

“An angel?”

“Yeah, and he’s a bit of a dick.” Dean informs him between mouthfuls of cereal. “At least we know who pulled me out, but not why. He said they had work for me, but not what that was. And he implied that Sam would have to stop Lilith, which isn’t going to happen.”

Sam shuts his mouth without saying anything and lets Dean continue his rant.

“We went up against her before, not gonna happen again.”

“What about these seals? Who else is going to stop her?”

Bobby raises a good point, Sam thinks.

“If they want our help, they can ask for it and clue us in on the plan. Until then, I’m not interested.”

The doctor calls as Sam is washing the breakfast dishes and Dean takes the call.

“The scans and tests didn’t find anything wrong. No bleeds to the brain, nothing. You’re perfectly healthy apart from being a little underweight.”

Sam had guessed that the news was coming, that there was nothing conventional medicine could do for him, but it still hit him hard. He needs something to take his mind off things.

“You want to train? With weapons?”

“I want to see what I can do, Dean. I need to know.”

Which is how they end up in a clear area in the junkyard, facing off against each other with bokkens, wooden Japanese training swords.

“Not sure this is a good idea, dude.” Dean grumbled.

“We’re training Dean, not trying to kill each other. I need to find out what I can and can’t do. So I’m going to stand here and you’re going to come at me and hit my bokken.”

“Okay.” Dean mutters and hits Sam’s bokken with his.

“And again.” Sam instructs.

Dean lands a halfhearted blow to the other side of Sam’s bokken.

“And again.”

Sam feels the hits reverberate down the wooden sword into his hands but can’t sense them coming in any way.

“And again.” Another hit, but still nothing.

“Anything?”

“No.” Sam lowers his bokken.

“Remember Blind Fury? Nick Parker trained with the monks for years before he became an expert. You’re not gonna be anywhere near that level in a few hours.”

“Yeah, I suppose.”

“Try this.” Sam hears Bobby’s footsteps on the dusty ground.

“I’m gonna take that from you,” Sam hands over the wooden bokken. “And give you this. Careful now, it’s a live blade.” Sam’s fingers wrapped around the leather wrapped handle of what he could feel just in the balance was a special blade. And one he could feel in more ways than one.

“This is different.”

“It was forged by Japanese monks, blessed and anointed to kill kappas. I’m thinking that something has to be supernatural in nature for you to be able to sense it.”

“Thanks Bobby.” Sam grins.

“Is that wise? Giving him a live blade?”

“Worried Dean?” Sam teases.

“Damn straight I’m worried.”

“Do what you were doing before, but I’ll try to block you, okay?”

“Okay. Ready?”

“Ready.”

Sam holds the sword out, and hears and feels the noise as Dean hits it with his bokken, but he can’t sense the attack.
.
“Swap over.” Bobby instructs.

This time, Sam could sense the blade even before Dean raises it, and easily blocks the incoming attack.

“Again.”

The same again, easily blocked. Dean tries to land a few more simple blows and Sam blocks them all.

“Do something different.”

“Okay.” He hears Dean take in a deep breath before he begins to move.

Sam closes his eyes and lets his other senses guide him. Each time he blocks the blade, Dean becomes a little bolder. With the next attack, Sam steps into the space Dean vacated when he moved, turns around and disarms him.

“Dude!!!” Dean yells, pushing Sam away. “I could have killed you!”

“No, you couldn’t.” Sam smirks.

“Well done, kid.” Sam can hear the smile in Bobby’s words and grins back at him.

They take a break on the porch and Bobby gets them all beers.

“Now we know you can sense things that are supernatural in nature, but not every bad guy is gonna have a blessed, or cursed, sword.” Dean muses.

“If I can sense something, I could use the blessed sword on it, though.”

Dean’s still not convinced, but Bobby gives them the scabbard and lets them put it on the trunk of the Impala, just in case.

A couple of days later, they leave on a supply run, partly to give Bobby a couple of days alone in his own house and partly to see if they can pick up a case. Relaxing doesn’t come easy to either of them especially with the idea of Lilith breaking seals hanging over them.

Castiel appears at sunset one evening after Dean’s gone to pick up food. Sam takes the chance to research while he can see.

Castiel stands by the table as Sam opens his laptop and begins to research the 66 seals. He’s so engrossed for a while that he doesn’t realize that Castiel is just standing there.

“You can sit down.” Sam nods towards the chair that he nudges out with his foot.

The angel looks down at the chair as if he’s never thought about what to do with one before. Maybe he hasn’t, Sam thinks.

“If you’re going to be here for a while, you may as well make yourself comfortable.”

Almost reluctantly, Castiel lowers himself down to the chair and sits down, keeping his back so stiff, he’s almost perched there. Sam reckons it’s better than nothing, and it seems better than having him just standing there.

“So, I was wondering … I’ve been meaning to ask …” Sam stutters over his words. “When you first turned up, you said that this … thing, with my sight, couldn’t be healed.”

Castiel nodded solemnly. “It is not an illness or an injury that can be healed. It just is.”

“The doctor we saw said the same thing, that nothing had shown up on the scans and there’s no physical reason that I can’t see. But I don’t think their scanners are set up to pick up demon blood issues.”

“Yet, despite your affliction, you were quick to defend your brother.”

“He’s been through enough. It doesn’t matter how big this is, you can’t ask him for anything else.”

“He would say the same about you.”

“He probably would and I guess it’s true. But why us? We’ve already gone up against Lilith and we didn’t win, which I’m guessing you know already. Why Dean?”

Castiel doesn’t answer straight away, and Sam sees a sliver of humanity on his face before he answers.

“The one who started it must finish it.”

“Dean broke the first seal?”

Castiel shook his head. “Dean was the first seal. When a righteous man spills blood in hell, the first seal shall break.”

“Does he know?”

“That he was the first seal? No.”

“And why did you look at me, when you were talking about killing Lilith?”

“Some believe that anyone who shares blood with Dean could kill Lilith and stop the seals from being broken. Stop the apocalypse. Others believe that it has to be Dean.”

“The apocalypse.” Sam whispers.

He’s abruptly plunged into darkness as Castiel leaves without another word. When he hears the Impala pulling up outside, Sam wonders exactly what the angel wanted from him and doesn’t say anything to Dean. He can’t know that by breaking in hell, he broke the first seal. Sam holds him a little tighter that night, and wishes, not for the first time, that their lives could have been simpler.



A case falls into their laps the next morning while Dean’s looking through local papers over breakfast. Sam thinks it’s ironic that their first real hunt since Dean got back is around Halloween. The report in the paper tells of a man who swallowed razor blades thinking he was eating Halloween candy. Turns out that it’s a witch. Sam keeps the man’s wife talking while Dean pokes around the kitchen and finds the hex bag.

But the simple witch hunt spirals rapidly out of control.

Arriving back at their motel room, Castiel is waiting for them.

“Dean. Sam. Have you located the witch?”

“We know who she is …”

“And she knows who you are.” Castiel holds up a hex bag. “Now, you need to leave this town. We are about to destroy it.”

“Leave town?” Dean glares at Castiel.

“What about all the people?” Sam asks.

“It is unfortunate, but it must be done. The rising of Samhain is one of the 66 seals. It cannot come to pass.”

“And we’re not letting all the people in this town die without at least trying. C’mon Sam.”

Dean walks out without another word and Sam glances back at Castiel. The angel doesn’t watch them leave, he stares in another direction, as if he’s listening to something that Sam can’t hear. As Sam gets further away from Castiel, the light dims and he just makes it to the Impala before it fades altogether.

Hours later, they become trapped as Samhain rises. Sam can sense everything that’s happening and covers their faces in blood to mask them. They track the demon to a crypt where a bunch of kids from the school are partying. They manage to get the kids out before all hell truly breaks loose.

In the crypt, Sam can see the zombies pulling themselves out of their graves, hands smashing through marble, but Samhain is clearer, and Sam follows. The demon turns to face him, and reaches out towards him, but Sam stands steady, reaching his own hand out. He can feel the demon raging inside the teacher and begins to pull. This is harder than the last one, much harder, and he wishes he’d been able to practice more, but pushes that thought away. He can only do the best with what he has, whatever it is, and make it work himself. He closes his hand a little, pulling as he does so with his mind, edging the evil thing out inch by inch until the teacher’s body slumps back and the demon writhes in the air in front of him. He slowly starts to close his hand, not to exorcise, but to see if it’s possible to kill. For a moment, he stalls, wondering what further damage he could be doing to himself, but only for a moment. He snaps his fist closed, and the demon wails as it dies, the black mist sparking into nothingness as Sam falls to his knees.

Sam’s chest heaves as he looks down at the spot where Samhain burned away to nothing. He looks down … he looks …

Sam’s heart is beating so fast. Last time, when he flung the demon back to hell to save Dean, any hint of being able to see anything had gone with it, but now, he can make out shapes, and edges, but it slowly fades as the power in his vein’s ebbs away. He raises a hand to his face, and tries concentrating on it, trying to access the power in his veins for himself, but nothing happens.

“Sam?”

Dean’s voice from behind him makes him jump.

“You sent him back to hell?” Sam can hear Dean moving closer, and he’s probably looking down at the teacher’s dead body. He almost doesn’t tell Dean what he did, but he doesn’t want any more secrets between them. He already carries Castiel’s confession that Dean breaking was the first seal heavily in his heart, and he doesn’t want another one.

“No, I killed him.” His voice is hoarse, as if the admission is finding it hard to leave his mouth.

“Killed him? That’s … that’s a lot to take in … Hey, you’re bleeding. I’m gonna get that.” Dean warns and then there’s something soft dabbing and wiping under his nose.

“I hate what this does to you,” Dean almost whispers.

Sam reaches for Dean’s hand, taking the cotton from it, belatedly realizing that he can’t tell if all the blood has been cleaned away. Dean takes it back with a small tut, and finishes what he started.

“I hate this, too,” Sam sighs.

“I know, and if we can find a way out of it we will, right?” Dean squeezes Sam’s shoulder. Sam can feel him standing close, and nods.

“C’mon, don’t know about you, but I need pizza and sleep.”

Sam agrees, and lets himself be led out of the crypt.

Later, curled up around Dean, he tries to access his power again, and fails. He falls asleep thinking it’s probably for the best.



The next morning, Sam packs his clothes into his bag while Dean is out picking up breakfast. The plan is to head back to Bobby’s for a while so they can rest up and think about what comes next. He’s feeling around for his other t-shirt when light flares in the room. Sam uses it to his advantage and quickly picks up his socks and spare underwear before turning to face Castiel.

“What do you want?”

“You and Dean were told to leave town, yet you didn’t. Why?”

“There was a chance we could save all the people, so we took it.”

“But the seal was still broken.”

“There’s still a chance to stop Lilith before she makes it to 66 seals. This town only had one chance.”

Castiel stares at him, nods and disappears.

Later, he finds out that he had a similar conversation with Dean.

“He said it was a test, and that he was praying that we’d choose to save the town.”

“A test? For what?”

“To see how we’d perform under, what was it he said? Battlefield conditions.”

“Don’t like the sound of that.”

“Me neither. I say we hole up at Bobby’s for a while, see if we can’t figure out exactly what’s going on. I hate being stuck in the middle of all this angel and demon crap.”

“Agreed.” Sam nods, a plan already forming in his mind, but Dean wasn’t going to like it.

They stay at Bobby’s for a few weeks, continuing Sam’s training. Sam, with Bobby’s help, also sets himself up with as many aids as he can, using his laptop and phone, eager to get back to as normal a life as he can. He gets Bobby to put raised stickers on various keys so he has starting points to find the rest, and to set him up with a screen reader, which he uses with one ear bud in so he can listen to his search results and listen to and join in with Dean and Bobby’s discussions at the same time.

When Castiel appears to tell them that the seals are falling fast, Sam decides to share his plan.

“No!” Dean yells. “Absolutely not.”

“Ruby’s the only one who will know where Lilith is. She was so hell bent on me killing her …”

“And why is that? Why help you kill another demon?”

“I don’t know. I wasn’t interested in why she was helping me, just that she was. She might have intel that we don't, so we have to try.”

“No we don’t! Every time we get involved with her, it goes badly. Every time. Bobby? Tell him.”

Sam hears Bobby sigh. “Sam’s right. I know you don’t like it Dean, but if she knows something we don’t, we have to try.”

Dean slams the door on his way out, leaving without another word.

“He’ll be back.” Bobby pats Sam on the shoulder and leaves him to his research.

Dean doesn’t cool off, and simmers with rage as they plan, but he doesn’t object again. And the plan is a simple one. Sam is almost certain that Ruby will have been keeping tabs on him so Sam and Dean will head out on a case, and Dean leaves Sam alone in a motel room until Ruby makes an appearance. If she doesn’t show, Sam will call her on the last number he has for her and ask for her help.

Dean hardly talks to him on the way, and Sam gets it. If it was the other way round, he’d be worried too. They book into an out of the way motel, and after an hour Dean heads off, pulling Sam close for a moment before leaving him alone.

Sam settles in for what could be a long wait, but less than three hours later, his phone plays Ruby Tuesday, the ringtone she’d set herself. He doesn’t answer straight away, and when he does, his voice is rough.

“Sam?”

“Ruby. What do you want?”

“Just wanted to see how you were. I’ve been keeping tabs on you, making sure that you’re okay.”

“Making sure that I’m okay? Really?”

“Well, with your issues …”

“My issues? You mean that I can’t see? And who’s fault is that?”

“I was just trying to help, Sam, trying to make you stronger.”

“Yeah? Well, that didn’t work.”

“That’s not what a little bird tells me.”

“Can’t believe everything you hear.”

“I guess not.” She pauses. “Want some company? I’ll bring French fries …”

Sam ends the call, and waits. Ten minutes later there’s a knock on the door.

“Room service.”

“Not interested.”

The door opens without Sam having to unlock it and Ruby walks in.

“Hey Sammy, how’s tricks?”

She’s different from the other demons he’s seen since he last saw her. There’s only the writhing wrongness of the demon, nothing that really tethers her inside. He knows that the body she’s wearing is technically dead and wonders if that’s the difference.

He doesn’t say a word to her. He keeps his head down and waits until she’s further into the room, until she’s trailed her fingers through her hair like she still has a right to do that, until she’s leaning back against a chair, and he can hear the smirk in her voice.

“What? Cat got your tongue?”

Sam reaches out and Ruby yelps as she’s driven back against the wall behind her.

“Sam! What are you doing?”

“Something I should have done a long time ago.”

After Samhain, it was easy to take a hold of the demon and leave it writing inside the body.

“Why were you always so keen to make me stronger?”

“All I wanted was to help you, Sam …” his name ends in a scream, as he tightens his fist and twists her around.

“Liar.”

“Why would I lie? What did I have to gain? I can tell you where she’ll be and we can go together, get this done. St Mary’s convent, two days time …”

“You want to help me to kill Lilith, but I still don’t get why. Turns out she’s part of a bigger plan …”

Sam pauses as there’s a slight change in the way the demon quivers in his hand.

“So why do you want her dead so badly? What’s in it for you?”

“Isn’t revenge enough? It was for you …” She screams again, and Sam realizes that he can see her face. Castiel must be close.

“No, it’s not revenge.” Sam tears a part of the demon away and burns it up in front of her face.

She’s panting now, and it’s the first time has seen her scared.

“Tell me why you want her dead.”

Another piece is torn off.

“No, I can’t …”

And there it is, the proof he needed, that there’s a deeper reason to all this.

“No, no, no …” Ruby’s head whips from side to side, her eyes filled with terror and Sam moves closer, this time ripping another slice from the demon.

“I’m his, not yours …” she pants through the pain. “He’s more than you can ever be.”

Sam’s eyes narrow, then he gasps as she pulls the demon killing knife out of the sheath at his side and plunges it into her own heart.

“No!” Sam cries out in frustration and lets her go. The body drops to the floor as the demon jerks and spasms and finally dies.

The room flares with light as Castiel and Dean arrive in the room.

“She killed herself.” Castiel frowns.

“I don’t get it. She gave me the place we can find Lilith, but wouldn’t tell me why she wanted me to kill her. She said …”

“She said “I’m his, not yours. He’s more than you can ever be”. I was listening.”

“How does that help us?” Dean stalked around the room. “Who was she talking about?”

“She said “he”. What if “he” is … Lucifer?” Sam wonders.

“If she’s been working for Lucifer, all this time, then her goal must have been to free him. By getting you to kill Lilith. Is Lilith the 66th seal?” Dean’s voice is hesitant, as if he doesn’t want to believe it’s true. But then he turns to Castiel. “And what exactly are the angels doing to stop this? Because from what I can see, they want the same thing – Lilith dead! You mind explaining that one, Cas?”

“I cannot. For a long time I have suspected there was dissent in heaven, but I didn’t know it had gone this far. There was once a faction of angels who wanted to bring about the apocalypse, but they were dealt with.”

“All of them?”

“Before tonight I would have said yes, but now, I don’t know. This isn’t possible, Heaven wouldn’t stand for it.”

“So what if we just don’t kill her? The seal never gets broken, and Lucifer never rises.” Sam suggests.

“It is not that simple. She must die, so she can never be a threat again, but she cannot be killed by either of you. I’ll do it myself.”

“Cas, you can’t go in there alone, you’ll need backup.”

“No, I need to handle this myself.”

Castiel is gone before either of them can say another word.

“Bobby? Can you get us a clean up crew to the motel room?” Dean calls Bobby as they drive away from the motel.

“This isn’t Pulp Fiction, Dean, I haven’t got Mr Wolfe on speed dial,” Bobby grumbles.

“Look, Ruby’s dead, Lilith is the 66th seal and Castiel has gone to gank her himself. We’re on our way to a convent in Florida, and you know how much I hate that place …”

“Okay, I’ll get someone on it. You boys be careful, and check in when you can, you hear?”

“Okay Bobby, will do.” Dean hangs up..

They drive until Sam insists that they at least pull over and get some sleep. Dean finally caves in and books them into a small place on the edge of the town St Mary’s Convent is closest to. They sleep like the dead, and wake up with dread in their bellies.

Munching on leftover pizza for breakfast, they talk strategy.

“We’ll scope the place out first, look out for demons. We’re a day early so …”

“Dean! Angel!” Sam’s world lights up, but not in the same way it does when Castiel is around.

This light is more subtle, strangely muted subtle, and there’s a wrongness around the edges of the aura the angel exudes, as if it’s tattered, just beginning to fray. They’ve only got seconds to process its arrival before they are suddenly standing in what Sam assumes is the convent. It's run down, hasn't seen any care for a long time, and there's a deep coldness to it that makes him shiver.

The angel that has a hold of both their necks is bigger than Castiel, broader and obviously not worried about hurting them. He pushes them down to their knees and holds them there. In front of them, Lilith rages against the chains that are holding her down and the gag in her mouth. Overlaid against the sight that this new angel’s presence is providing, Sam can see her true form, the grotesque twisted thing that feels so wrong.

“Now,” the angel growls. “Which one of you mud monkeys is going to do the job you were bred for?”

“Uriel! Let them go!”

“Ah, brother, I was hoping you’d join us.”

“You’re not my brother Uriel, not any more. How could you do this? This is not what Heaven wants!”

“This is exactly what Heaven needs. A new beginning, a cleansing. And it goes higher than me.”

“Zachariah.” Castiel spits out. “He doesn’t speak for heaven either, only for himself.”

“I see you’ve been catching up. One last chance, brother. Join us, help make this world into what it should be.”

“It is exactly as God wanted it to be …”

Castiel has to jump back as Uriel lets go of Sam and Dean and charges at him. There’s a blade in his hand, long and straight, and he advances on Castiel, slashing it down towards him. Castiel steps back, but Uriel is relentless and has the advantage of a weapon. They crash against a stone wall, making it tremble and crack and Castiel twists away only to launch himself at Uriel again and they crash to the floor. The whole building shakes, and Dean and Sam get to their feet, ducking out of the way of falling debris.

Uriel grabs Castiel, and throws him down, over a jagged piece of rock, and Castiel howls with pain. But when Uriel goes in for the kill, raising the blade in his hand, Sam reaches out, channeling the power inside him in a different way, and flicks the blade out of Uriel’s hand, sending it spinning across the room.

Enraged, Uriel charges him, and now Sam tries to use the power to keep the angel back but he’s stronger than anything Sam’s encountered before and he presses forward slowly, forcing Sam back. Just as Sam thinks he’s got the upper hand, Uriel ducks down, and hurls a large stone in Sam’s direction. He ducks, and Uriel takes advantage of the distraction and grabs Sam, turning him around as Sam tries to focus his power again, and for one horrifying second, Sam’s power is directed straight at Lilith, before he can shut it down. Uriel shakes him, like a Rottweiler with a ragdoll.

“Finish her, or I’ll finish him.” He points at Dean. “I know what you get up to in the dark Sam, and I’ll rip him from you again unless you finish her.”

Uriel throws Sam down and puts one foot on his back, pressing him into the ground.

“No!” Dean yells from behind, and Sam wants to tell him to run, to get out while he still can, but no words will come.

“Uriel. Leave him alone.” It’s Castiel, and as Uriel turns to face him, he stomps his foot on Sam’s back, breaking his spine.

In agony, Sam pulls himself around so he can see what’s happening, just as Dean gets to him.

“Can you walk? We have to get out of here.”

Sam shakes his head, and watches as Uriel stalks towards Castiel. He has the weapon in his hand now, but he’s staggering as he walks, and Sam knows that none of them are getting out of this. Dean’s hand is on his head, petting his hair, trying to get him to move, but it’s no use, he can’t feel his legs.

“Dean. Lift me up, I need to see …”

Dean turns him as Sam whimpers at each movement and then he can see them, and he knows he has to try to help. Reaching back to hold onto Dean with his left hand, he pulls all the power he has left together and breathes in deeply. He holds his breath for a second, and when he breathes out, he focuses his power on Uriel and sends him toppling to the ground. It’s the only thing he can give Castiel. One chance, and the angel takes it. Before Uriel can recover, Castiel plunges the blade into his back, twisting it until Uriel burns away from inside his vessel and all that’s left of the angel are the shadows of his wings on the ground.

Castiel wavers, but he pulls out the knife and with steely determination strides past San and Dean to where Lilith has been watching the battle, silent behind the gag in her mouth. He kneels beside her and whispers in her ear “You lose” before plunging the long blade onto her chest.

He sags for a second, but pulls himself to his feet, and walks stiffly over to where Sam and Dean are sitting amongst the rubble. He bends down and puts his fingers against Sam’s forehead. Sam breathes in sharply as his spine heals, as well as all the cuts and scrapes he’d picked up in the fight.

Dean scrambles to his feet and helps Sam up and they look at the carnage all around them.

“So what now?” Dean asks.

“I don’t know. But we have to go. There is trouble in heaven, and Zachariah isn’t one to let something like this slide.”

They arrive back at Bobby’s so fast it causes a storm of paper from his desk and a lot of cussing that subsides as soon as he sees that they are all in one piece.

“I need to hide you from Heaven, but that will include me. It’s safer this way.” Castiel explains.

He puts a hand on each of their chests, and they both startle as it feels like insects crawling under their skin.

“What was that?”

“I carved sigils into your ribs. Now you’re hidden from Heaven and all the angels.”.

Before he can leave, Dean picks out a cellphone from Bobby’s stash of spares, and programs their numbers in.

“If you need us, call, okay? And don’t be a stranger.”

Castiel takes Dean’s outstretched hand and shakes it, smiling, then he turns to Sam.

“Thank you. If it were not for your courage, it would have gone a lot differently today.”

Sam smiles at him and then he’s gone. He wonders how long it will be before they see him again.

Chapter Five