eachdraidhean (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
eachdraidhean) wrote2009-09-15 10:38 pm
eachdraidhean) wrote2009-09-15 10:38 pm
Entry tags:
The Opposite of Okay
Title: The Opposite of Okay
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters: Sam and Dean
Rating: Gen
Word Count: 963
Disclaimer: Sadly, they aren't mine, I'm just playing with them for a while.
Betas:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
seleneheart and cocoajava
Notes: An alternate ending to Family Remains, 4.11. I really didn't like the ending to this episode, it was the second big confession about hell in two episodes, and it didn't feel right to me. If all the hell confessions had been done the episode before, this is how I would have ended this one ...
Summary: After they leave Susan and her family to get on with their lives after the events in Family Remains, the boys stop by the roadside for a burger.
Dean: “You okay?”
Susan: “No, we’re the opposite of okay, but we’re together.”
Sam handed Dean a burger and peeled the wrapper back from his own. He looked at it, realizing the mistake the server must have made, and opened his mouth to warn Dean but it was too late. His brother had already taken a huge bite and was chewing it slowly, eying the burger in his hand as if it was an alien life form.
“Sammy, what the hell is this?” Dean asked through his mouthful of offending food.
“You got my bean burger.”
Dean stared at Sam, and gulped it down painfully as if he were swallowing a stone.
“Your what now?”
“My bean burger.” Sam repeated and shrugged as he took it from Dean and gave him the right one. “I wanted something different for a change.”
“Oh, it’s different, all right.” Dean shuddered and bit gratefully into his quarter pound of beef.
It only took Sam two bites to realise that different wasn’t always better, but he ate it anyway.
They shared a soda, but only after Dean double checked to make sure it wasn’t diet or caffeine free or any other freaky-assed alternative. Sam was quiet, and so much hung in the air between them that the silence was almost painful. Dean let the almost empty can dangle from his fingers as he studied the Impala’s paintwork. He knew Sam wanted him to open up, to spill his guts. To let the pain out in the vain hope that doing so would fix Dean, help him heal, but Sam had no idea how deep the horror and self-loathing went. Letting it out would rip him to shreds, tear his soul into pieces so small he’d never be able to put it back together again. It would be fitting, maybe, after all that he’d done to other souls, but he couldn’t, not now. He had to hold it together. For Sam.
Dean stole a glance at his brother. There were dark circles under Sam’s tired eyes and he looked so sad. Guilt stabbed through Dean. He was driving himself hard, using hunting to block out any thoughts of hell, but he was pulling Sam along with him. He didn’t know what else to do. It was bad enough that he never knew which horror would claw itself into his nightmares if he let himself sleep. He couldn’t, wouldn’t, give himself time to dwell on the past while he was awake. He couldn’t let those memories out into the light, no matter how much Sam wanted him to, so he kept working, kept looking forward. It was the only thing that kept him going. That and Sam.
Dean sighed. Despite everything, what Susan had said made him realize there was something Sam deserved to know.
“Thanks.” Dean paused. Words like this didn’t come easy to him but he knew if he didn’t get it out now, most likely he never would.
“What for?” Sam asked, confusion in his voice.
“For sticking around, even now you know ... you know what I did.” Dean kept staring ahead, feeling Sam’s eyes on him.
“You thought I’d leave?” It hit Sam that yeah, Dean must have thought that was a possibility. After all, he’d been on the verge of walking away when he found out Sam’s secret. But he had to know that no matter which words they spat at each other in the heat of an argument, no matter how many punches were thrown, when it came down to it, they stuck together. “You’re my brother, Dean. Besides, we’ve both done things we aren’t proud of.”
Dean nodded, still not looking at Sam.
“I know, but after everything ...” He scuffed the toe of his boot in the dirt and watched a little cloud of dust rise around his foot. “I wanted you to know that I appreciate it. See, I, er ...”
Dean cleared his throat, intent on finishing what he had to say, but Sam couldn’t let him go on. He didn’t know what to do to help Dean deal with what he’d been through, and that worried and frustrated him. He’d thought that talking about it would help, but he couldn’t watch Dean squirm. He turned to him, and stuck out his hand, palm towards Dean’s chest.
“Dude, you know the rules. No chick flick moments.”
“What?” Dean stared at him, open-mouthed.
“We don’t have to hug or anything, do we?” Sam whined in a passable impersonation of Dean.
Dean stared back at him for a long moment. “Bitch.”
“Jerk.” Sam replied, glad to see Dean visibly unclench as the weight of having to face his demons was temporarily lifted.
Dean stepped towards the car, but Sam got to the driver’s door first.
“Give me the keys. You need to sleep so I’m driving.” Sam stood in Dean’s way, his face set, holding out his hand and determined not to take no for an answer.
“Okay, okay.” Dean grumbled and dropped the keys into Sam’s open hand. He’d never admit it, but Sam had been right, he was exhausted, even though the thought of sleep made his stomach churn. As Sam started the Impala, Dean curled up on the seat next to him.
“So what’s it gonna be next time, Samantha?” Dean yawned. “Organic tofu dog?” He could always pretend to try and sleep, and if he did, Sam was right there in case he needed him.
“Bite me.” Sam retorted and looked down at Dean, who’s eyelids were already drooping. More than anything, he had to believe that Dean would be okay, because he couldn’t face losing him again.
So him and Dean? They were the opposite of okay, Sam thought, but they were together. And that was enough.
Start A Business
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters: Sam and Dean
Rating: Gen
Word Count: 963
Disclaimer: Sadly, they aren't mine, I'm just playing with them for a while.
Betas:
seleneheart and cocoajavaNotes: An alternate ending to Family Remains, 4.11. I really didn't like the ending to this episode, it was the second big confession about hell in two episodes, and it didn't feel right to me. If all the hell confessions had been done the episode before, this is how I would have ended this one ...
Summary: After they leave Susan and her family to get on with their lives after the events in Family Remains, the boys stop by the roadside for a burger.
Dean: “You okay?”
Susan: “No, we’re the opposite of okay, but we’re together.”
Sam handed Dean a burger and peeled the wrapper back from his own. He looked at it, realizing the mistake the server must have made, and opened his mouth to warn Dean but it was too late. His brother had already taken a huge bite and was chewing it slowly, eying the burger in his hand as if it was an alien life form.
“Sammy, what the hell is this?” Dean asked through his mouthful of offending food.
“You got my bean burger.”
Dean stared at Sam, and gulped it down painfully as if he were swallowing a stone.
“Your what now?”
“My bean burger.” Sam repeated and shrugged as he took it from Dean and gave him the right one. “I wanted something different for a change.”
“Oh, it’s different, all right.” Dean shuddered and bit gratefully into his quarter pound of beef.
It only took Sam two bites to realise that different wasn’t always better, but he ate it anyway.
They shared a soda, but only after Dean double checked to make sure it wasn’t diet or caffeine free or any other freaky-assed alternative. Sam was quiet, and so much hung in the air between them that the silence was almost painful. Dean let the almost empty can dangle from his fingers as he studied the Impala’s paintwork. He knew Sam wanted him to open up, to spill his guts. To let the pain out in the vain hope that doing so would fix Dean, help him heal, but Sam had no idea how deep the horror and self-loathing went. Letting it out would rip him to shreds, tear his soul into pieces so small he’d never be able to put it back together again. It would be fitting, maybe, after all that he’d done to other souls, but he couldn’t, not now. He had to hold it together. For Sam.
Dean stole a glance at his brother. There were dark circles under Sam’s tired eyes and he looked so sad. Guilt stabbed through Dean. He was driving himself hard, using hunting to block out any thoughts of hell, but he was pulling Sam along with him. He didn’t know what else to do. It was bad enough that he never knew which horror would claw itself into his nightmares if he let himself sleep. He couldn’t, wouldn’t, give himself time to dwell on the past while he was awake. He couldn’t let those memories out into the light, no matter how much Sam wanted him to, so he kept working, kept looking forward. It was the only thing that kept him going. That and Sam.
Dean sighed. Despite everything, what Susan had said made him realize there was something Sam deserved to know.
“Thanks.” Dean paused. Words like this didn’t come easy to him but he knew if he didn’t get it out now, most likely he never would.
“What for?” Sam asked, confusion in his voice.
“For sticking around, even now you know ... you know what I did.” Dean kept staring ahead, feeling Sam’s eyes on him.
“You thought I’d leave?” It hit Sam that yeah, Dean must have thought that was a possibility. After all, he’d been on the verge of walking away when he found out Sam’s secret. But he had to know that no matter which words they spat at each other in the heat of an argument, no matter how many punches were thrown, when it came down to it, they stuck together. “You’re my brother, Dean. Besides, we’ve both done things we aren’t proud of.”
Dean nodded, still not looking at Sam.
“I know, but after everything ...” He scuffed the toe of his boot in the dirt and watched a little cloud of dust rise around his foot. “I wanted you to know that I appreciate it. See, I, er ...”
Dean cleared his throat, intent on finishing what he had to say, but Sam couldn’t let him go on. He didn’t know what to do to help Dean deal with what he’d been through, and that worried and frustrated him. He’d thought that talking about it would help, but he couldn’t watch Dean squirm. He turned to him, and stuck out his hand, palm towards Dean’s chest.
“Dude, you know the rules. No chick flick moments.”
“What?” Dean stared at him, open-mouthed.
“We don’t have to hug or anything, do we?” Sam whined in a passable impersonation of Dean.
Dean stared back at him for a long moment. “Bitch.”
“Jerk.” Sam replied, glad to see Dean visibly unclench as the weight of having to face his demons was temporarily lifted.
Dean stepped towards the car, but Sam got to the driver’s door first.
“Give me the keys. You need to sleep so I’m driving.” Sam stood in Dean’s way, his face set, holding out his hand and determined not to take no for an answer.
“Okay, okay.” Dean grumbled and dropped the keys into Sam’s open hand. He’d never admit it, but Sam had been right, he was exhausted, even though the thought of sleep made his stomach churn. As Sam started the Impala, Dean curled up on the seat next to him.
“So what’s it gonna be next time, Samantha?” Dean yawned. “Organic tofu dog?” He could always pretend to try and sleep, and if he did, Sam was right there in case he needed him.
“Bite me.” Sam retorted and looked down at Dean, who’s eyelids were already drooping. More than anything, he had to believe that Dean would be okay, because he couldn’t face losing him again.
So him and Dean? They were the opposite of okay, Sam thought, but they were together. And that was enough.
Start A Business
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but your ending is really good!! ^__^
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Yep, that ending felt completely off to me, as if it had been tacked on at the last minute. They could have had one big confession at the end of Heaven and Hell, which included the "and I liked it" bit, and left this episode with it's message in tact, that they aren't okay, but they are together.
Glad you enjoyed this version :)
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Yes, I feel there's fault on both sides too and hoping it won't take too long for them to put this right. *crosses fingers*
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It so would!!
Thanks for reading :)
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Love, Robin
Editor, SUPERNATURAL synopses
Moogi.com
Episode 1 of season 5 now up for your enjoyment!
Please come check it out!
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So him and Dean? They were the opposite of okay, Sam thought, but they were together. And that was enough.
I hope that they can get back to this this season. Maybe even be okay for a little bit!
Thanks for sharing.
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I'm hoping they can get back to where they were too, or move on to something new, but together and okay with each other. *crosses fingers*
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i have to tell ya this really fixes me in some way, cuz S4 tore me into pieces by those unbearably heartbreaking moments.T_T
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I know what you mean about the heartbreaking moments, and this has always been my way to put things right, write fic!